Many people express their confusion over the meanings of the Homeland Security Alerts. Like any good blogger, Zygote-Design is here to help with a handy translation of Tom Ridge's text:

Your awareness and vigilance can help tremendously, so please use your common sense and report suspicious packages, vehicles, or activities to local law enforcement.

Normal person translation: Enjoy your Christmas holiday but everything you encounter could kill you. Packages of death, vehicles of death and even activities of death. Merry Christmas from all of us here at the Department of Homeland Security who will be whisked away to an impenetrable mountain fortress at the slightest hint of trouble while you die en masse in the streets of your concrete graveyards. Being in the government is cool.

Sheesh ... for a man who just found out that his wife is having a boy, Zygote sure can be cynical! Be sure to read the rest of his translation and congratulate him on the pending addition to his family.

Addendum: In a strange blogosphere coincidence, while I was writing this post, Zygote dropped a comment on my post about the Seinfeld DVD project. Weeeeeeiiiiird....

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