I don’t usually comment too much about my family life on this blog, mostly because my family deserves their privacy and sharing my personal stories differs ethically from sharing theirs. However, this is a special occasion, as today is our tenth wedding anniversary, and I thought I’d take some space to tell you about the First Mate.

Marcia and I met about fifteen years ago in a young-adult group at our church (when we both met the age requirement) because I gave her a regular ride to the meetings. Marcia went blind 24 years ago due to her diabetes and one of her few limitations is that she can’t drive. She and I quickly became good friends, and after a year or so we began dating on and off. In fact, as Marcia loves to tell people, we had our first date in July and our second date in December because neither of us were sure that the July outing actually qualified as a date with the other. The Captain is bold except on the stormy seas of romance, apparently. After a couple of years of this off-and-on romance, I relocated from Southern California to Arizona and both of us figured that we were going our separate ways, but Marcia was never far from my thoughts. Eventually we got back together and got married, and I relocated to Southern California.

Marcia, despite her diabetes, loves taking care of family and works hard making our house a home, but shortly after we were married, she began to experience kidney failure. After a brief but rapid decline, we were fortunate enough to get a transplant, and her health improved. Experiencing the severe illness in all its forms made me appreciate everything that Marcia did to support me and her son from her first marriage, whom I later adopted. I can tell you that she had her hands full with the two of us, but always has a smile and a laugh for me when I come home at the end of a long day.

When I first started this blog, Marcia was in the hospital, as her diabetes continues to cause health problems for her, and it’s now apparent that her transplanted kidney is failing. Her energy runs out quickly and she gets frustrated with the symptoms of kidney failure, such as high blood pressure and painful fluid retention. But still she works hard at home, now taking care of the Little Admiral during the day and still trying to make things easy on me. Instead of cooking every day, I try to get her to let me bring food home – thank goodness for Panera – as we go through a new transplant regimen and hope for the best. She is determined not to let this stop her or even slow her down more than necessary. And she encourages me to continue doing the activities I enjoy and not to worry too much about her, which is impossible, of course.

Today, we’ve been married ten years, and I can tell you that I couldn’t have picked a more remarkable woman with whom to spend that time. I couldn’t have picked a more loving and caring woman. I couldn’t have picked a tougher woman. I know I don’t deserve this blessing, but that’s what God does; he gives us the blessings we don’t deserve.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

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