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March 19, 2004
Tarzana Joe: Poet Laureate for the Presidential Election

As is customary, Hugh Hewitt had Tarzana Joe close out his Friday show with a poem, and what a poem it was. Both the First Mate and I were laughing out loud during the entire poem, as we thought it perfectly captured the Kerry mystique. Here is the Tarzana Joe original:

Meet the Candidate

I'm an average man with a master plan
I'm a warrior, like Attila
And I'll lead the songs of the cheering throngs
From my humble Tuscan villa.

I'm the People's Choice with a noble voice
That will never stam-- or stutter
I don't like to boast but if I eat toast
Well, you know, it won't melt butter.

Yes, I stand tall and will never fall
And can never be defeated
Unless (boo, hoo) I get run into
By some "expletive deleted".

Any fool can see my philosophy
Is transparent as a tissue
I stand by my quotes, you can track my votes
On both sides of every issue.

I can think of ten strong foreign men
And I think you all should heed them
It's just a shame I can't name their names
But they're begging me to lead them

It's been just that way since my natal day
When the stars shone round about me
It's unclear to me how the framers
Got this nation built without me

When the SupremeCourtees
Spoke of obscenities
They said, "When you see 'em, You'll know 'em"
I'm John Forbes Kerry
And I've approved this poem.

Visit Tarzana Joe and tell him how outstanding this poem is, and make sure you take a long tour through his excellent site.

Sphere It Digg! View blog reactions
Posted by Ed Morrissey at March 19, 2004 8:39 PM

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