Rule #1: Don't have a Caption Contest that finishes on a travel day. Rule #2: Have e-mail backed up before laptop crashes, taking with it the list of winners. Rule #3 ... well, I'm sure if I look around, I can find Rule #3. Anyway, thanks to Bear's e-mail getting rediscovered on my replacement laptop and the patience of all those who entered, I finally have an opportunity to present you with the winners! Since everyone's probably forgotten the picture from two weeks ago, here's a reminder -- a strangely unsettling reminder:

Here are the winners!

Captain's Award (Watch Your Back 'Cause They'll Turn on You) - Retired Military:

John Kerry on Nov 3rd

"Theresa, does this mean I won't get to ride on Air Force One?"

"Shut up, John. And oh yeah, I filed for divorce, Mr. War Hero."

You Have The Conn #1 (In Touch With Joe Average) - Kris:

"Hey, you! Yeah, you! Jet needs a wash 'n' wax. And pronto, or I'll sic Edwards on you!"

You Have The Conn #2 (Twisting History Into Current Events) - Famousmort:

Senator Kerry, shown here, demonstrates how he won the gold in javelin throw at the 1980 Olympics...

You Have The Conn #3 (Rich Corinthian Let-Her, or Best Star Trek Reference) - Phil Smith:

From hell's heart I stab at thee...For hate's sake... I spit my last breath at thee!

Ahhhhh, who'm I kidding. I need the money.

Report To Sick Bay (You've Been Sick Since The 70s) - JBlake:

[Bear says: The "National Lampoon: That's Not Funny, That's Sick" Award goes to (think of the album cover on this one)]

Hey buddy! Yeah you, sky cap! Max Cleland could use a little help getting out of the cargo hold.

Ubiquitous Hitchcock Cameo Award - Mojo:

"I swear to god, if she makes that damn joke ONE MORE TIME, this is gonna turn into a Hitchcock movie.

SCREE! SCREE! SCREE!...."

Thanks to everyone who entered, and congratulations to the winners! Remember, here at CQ, everyone's a winner -- just some of us have higher winning percentages than others. Comments on this post will remain open, as usual, in order for the winners to gloat, the others to disparage Bear's intellect and/or my parentage, and for any other entries submitted just for the sheer enjoyment of amazing your friends and confounding your enemies.

As I mentioned, your donations continue to flow into the tipjars set up to help me defray the costs of attending the Republican National Convention, and they are much appreciated.

Send me a photograph or an e-mail with a link to a great picture you think should be the subject of our next Caption Contest, and let me know if you'd like to be the guest judge! I'll have another picture for tomorrow -- so be sure to come back then for the next contest.

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