All of the entries are in and Thief has judged them all -- and believe me, it wasn't easy! He had a heck of a time picking out the best captions for this exciting action photograph, which captures the essence of the John Kerry magic. You can feel the charisma jumping right off the screen, can't you?

Not only has Thief supplied the winners, he's also given CQ a series of icons to go along with them. Great work, Thief! And here are the winners:

Captain’s Award (Weapon of Mass Distraction): capitano:

McCurry -- "What's the consensus?"
#1 --"Draw"
#2 -- "Draw"
#3 -- "Huh? Oh, uh, half caf/half decaf, single sweetener, skim foam, with a dash of cinnamon. ... and a bearclaw."

You Have The Conn #1 (What’s That Buzzing Sound?) radio:

Fox News is now using new ultra-high speed (450 frames/per/second equivalent) digital cameras which permit us for the first time to capture Sen. Kerry in mid flip-flop.

You Have The Conn #2 (Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign): ccwbass:

1st staffer: "How now . . ."
2nd staffer: " . . . brown cow."
3rd staffer: "What's the good word?"
4thstaffer: "Just kill me now."
John Kerry: "Burma Shave!"

You Have The Conn #3 (Full-Scale Meltdown): RBMN:

This wax museum sucks!

Report To Sick Bay (Caveat DUmptor): Cybrludite:

Young Guy: I wonder if I should try & meet that teenaged girl I was chatting up in the DU Forums last night?

Old Guy: Man, that was fun pretending to be a teenaged girl in the DU Forums last night. I bet that guy I was chatting with was "making himself go blind"! I wonder who he was?

Special Award for Best Literary Reference: (James Thurber’s “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”): The Yell:

Senator Mitty strode into the press room. The reporters moved to stand against the walls, skeptical frowns on their faces. Their fingers on the keyboards went pocketa pocketa pocketa.
"We're in a tight jam, Walter," whispered the campaign spokesman.
"We've been there before," said Mitty. He moved to the podium, gave a quick grin, and began to speak with clarity and conviction. As he...GOOD LORD I'M NOT DAYDREAMING! Uh...um...presidential...presidential...summit! Yeah! Summit talks!”

Special Award for Uber-Geekiness: (Live Long & Prosper): Bear: Kerry's four Romulan handlers, disguised as disinterested campaign workers, monitor the first public demonstration of his personal deflector shield. No longer can he be tarred with epithets like "flip-flopper", "ultra-liberal" or "traitorous aider and abetter of the enemy." Unfortunately, the shield magnifies a distinct lack of focus in his principles.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and congratulations to the winners! Remember, here at CQ, everyone's a winner -- just some of us have higher winning percentages than others. Comments on this post will remain open, as usual, in order for the winners to gloat, the others to disparage Thief's intellect and/or my parentage, and for any other entries submitted just for the sheer enjoyment of amazing your friends and confounding your enemies. Don't forget to visit Thief's Den, either!

Send me a photograph or an e-mail with a link to a great picture you think should be the subject of our next Caption Contest, and let me know if you'd like to be the guest judge!

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