The entries are in -- over 200 of them -- the deadline has passed -- the judge has made her decision -- and all of the possible ass jokes have been exhausted. At least, I think they've been exhausted. However, just in case this one got missed, I would describe this week's picture as evidence that Democrats conflated the ass which serves as the party mascot, and the one carries the party banner in this election:

You all did a tremendous job with your entries this week. I'm not sure, but I know we approached the CQ record with this edition! Kelly from The Patriette had a tough time judging the terrific captions you submitted. You could say she was flying by the seat of her pants ...

Here are the winners!

Captain's Award (The Kerry Counter-Terrorism Plan Explained, or The Democrat Duck & Cover) - John F:

My fellow baby boomers will see this as a variation on the pose we learned in grade school. This version says "Not only will we cover our heads in case of attack, but we extend a hand in friendship for the inevitable reconciliation to follow."

You Have The Conn #1 (So wrong, he's right) - GameKeeper:

Wrong Hand
At The Wrong Time
At The Wrong Place

You Have The Conn #2 (Ever changing positions) - IdaWizard:

"I can say this clearly... I've had one consistant position on Iraq..."

You Have The Conn #3 (The truth hurts) - Rod Stanton:

"This is how you do it. - After we win the election Americans you all
can bend over and kiss your a-- good bye!"

Report to Sick Bay (Exam Room 5) - Daisy Cutter:

Kerry: "Go to my web site to see the five (5) different ways that I am keeping my 'eye on the ball' better than Pres. Bush."

SPECIAL PATRIETTE AWARD - Best use of a campaign slogan as a caption - BillD:

"BRING IT ON!"

SPECIAL PATRIETTE AWARD - Best non-caption caption (says it all) - Ann:

If there is one picture in all the world that speaks for itself, it's
this one. Is there really a need for a caption at all?

Kelly also includes these Honorable Mentions:

Kerry demonstrates "secret" GLOBAL HANDSHAKE.
Posted by: james at October 8, 2004 07:09 AM

I know my head is up here somewhere.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at October 8, 2004 05:08 AM

In a moment of candor John Kerry demonstrates precisely how he pulls
the lies and distortions out of his ass.
Posted by: woulde at October 10, 2004 04:07 PM

Thanks to everyone who entered, and congratulations to the winners! Remember, here at CQ, everyone's a winner -- just some of us have higher winning percentages than others. Comments on this post will remain open, as usual, in order for the winners to gloat, the others to disparage Kelly's intellect and/or my parentage, and for any other entries submitted just for the sheer enjoyment of amazing your friends and confounding your enemies. Don't forget to visit The Patriette, either!

Send me a photograph or an e-mail with a link to a great picture you think should be the subject of our next Caption Contest, and let me know if you'd like to be the guest judge!

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