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March 9, 2006
The Memoirs Of The Inscrutable

Alan Greenspan has just received $8.5 million for his memoirs, the second-highest advance for a nonfiction book. Given his record of inscrutability achieved through the dizzying amount of detail he produced as Federal Reserve chair, do you wonder how he would write his autobiography? Comedian and newly-minted country singer Rick Moranis shares his thoughts in the New York Times:

IT was the best of times but it might also have quite possibly led to the worst of times.

One thing was for sure: it was a beautiful day. It felt like, oh, around 63 or 64 degrees Fahrenheit. I estimated, assessing the precise time of day, the mean annualized temperature, all available barometrics (which were hovering at about 30.2 and appeared to be falling), and the constantly changing, though only partial, cloud cover which seemingly would have to have been caused by prevailing winds, that it might get up to 65 degrees by midday. But that didn't stop me from wearing an undershirt.

My father had always insisted that I wear undershirts. He felt that if one were to sweat, the undershirt could absorb the perspiration efficiently, thereby prolonging the immediate look and the overall life of any dress shirt and additionally augmenting outer garments. Based on the relative lower cost of the simpler undergarments, factoring in cotton inventories and rising yields in dry- cleaning revenues, a good suit could last a hell of a lot longer if you didn't stink it up.

It appears to be a book that only King Banaian could truly love. And yes, Rick Moranis has recorded an album of country music titled The Agoraphobic Cowboy. No, I have not listened to it, and I doubt I will. I'd prefer to stick to his humor instead, and this essay gives a great example why.

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Posted by Ed Morrissey at March 9, 2006 6:57 AM

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