Caption Contest Winners!

Guest judge Jon from QandO — a smart and informative blog that should be on your daily reading list (like you need me to tell you that) — has made the final decisions in this week’s Captain’s Caption Contest. Just to refresh your memory, in case you can’t scroll down three posts, here’s the picture:

Here’s Jon’s picks, in his own format …
After a lengthy review, we have a 44 way tie for “You Sick Bastard”. My god, people, go call your mother and apologize. Immediately.
However, only one of your mothers will be talking to a winner. The results are:
Runner-up #3 (or: The “topical, pithy, amusing….you’re Jay Leno!” award)
“Actually, I pulled her away from the bus before I pushed her under it.”
Posted by Pat Curley March 27, 2004 08:23 AM
Runner-up #2 (or, The “ewww….I never thought I’d miss the relatively discreet days of Al and Tipper Gore getting it on” Award)
John, dear, they’re on the other side.
Posted by Stephen Macklin at March 27, 2004 03:48 PM
Runner-up #1 (or, The “I worked in every single joke about John Kerry known to man, because quantity should still count for something, right?” Award)
After accidentally fracturing his wifes arm in three places while recreating the infamous “sonuvabitch-knockdown technique” for the press, President-wannabe Kerry finds himself divorced from his primary source of campaign funding. In unrelated news, the French-looking senator will be announcing a new television program, airing on the Fox Network, titled “A Millionaire wants to Marry Who?,” where thousands of bachelorette’s will compete for the war-veteran’s hand, based on their liberalness, family fortune and desire to fund his run for the Presidency.
Posted by scotty at March 26, 2004 04:31 PM
Winner – (or, The “I laughed, I cried, I projectile snorted pea soup out of my nose” Award)
The power of John compels you! The power of John compels you!
Posted by Edward Yee at March 28, 2004 01:59 AM
Report to Sick Bay Immediately (or, The “I am simply shocked that you would reopen the wounds of Vietnam for Caption Contest gain” Award)
Kerry to reporters: “So I was sneaking up on the little VC bastard, just like this and …”
Posted by Bill at March 30, 2004 02:46 PM
Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks for joining in the fun! As always, comments will remain open on this post for those who wish to impugn the character of the judge, the Captain, or the people in the picture. Feel free to throw in more suggestions, even if the contest is over, if you’re in a Dennis Kucinich type of mood.
If anyone has a great idea for this Friday’s picture, drop me an e-mail with the URL or the picture attached — and let me know if you want to guest judge the contest as well!

One thought on “Caption Contest Winners!”

  1. Caption Contest

    Captain’s Quarters latest caption contest wrapped up last night. Winners were judged by yours truly. Not sure why, because it had nothing to do with anything, really…but the ultimate winner made me laugh out loud. Good stuff. Results can be…

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