I originally thought to categorize this as Current Affairs, but it's just too damn funny to put in any other category than Humor:

Where presidents and prime ministers have failed, Hollywood hunk Brad Pitt and wife Jennifer Anniston hope their star power will work wonders in new roles as Middle East peace envoys. They will team up with other actors such as Edward Norton, Jason Alexander and Danny DeVito on a private mission to help resolve the Israeli-Arab conflict.

The problem with Hollywood stars is that they don't understand that their popularity comes from speaking words written by other people while being filmed by other people on projects that are financed by other people. Playing a doctor on television does not qualify one to perform brain surgery, even if you can say, "I need that Fleeber retracter stat!" Even DeVito, who produces and directs and therefore understands a bit more about the illusory nature of the entertainment industry (and thus should really know better) gets into the act. And when I say "gets into the act," I mean that quite literally.

And how will these constellations beam their little rays of sunshine into the drab and dreary lives of Israelis and Palestinians and achieve peace?

London's Sunday Telegraph said it was not clear how the stars intended to stop the escalating violence but their strategy was to appeal to the man in the street. Pitt and Aniston believe the region's war-weary inhabitants want a negotiated settlement and they think direct appeals to 'ordinary folk' can bring the warring parties together, the paper said.

One problem Aniston & Co may encounter is that 75% of 'ordinary' Palestinians like seeing 'ordinary' Israelis blown up in restaurants and on buses. Aniston's smile might melt hearts in America, but they've likely never heard of her:

For some, the prospect of DeVito talking peace with Hamas militants over a cup of tea, or Pitt breaking bread at a Sabbath dinner with hardline Jewish settlers, is ridiculous, the Telegraph said.

Israeli sociologist Oz Almog told the paper: 'Many Palestinians do not even have television sets. What's more, for the past three years here, no one has listened to anyone. So what makes these people think they will listen to Danny DeVito?'

Well, Oz, come on ... I mean, this is Danny DeVito. Dude. For real.

While organisers admit that none of the actors has any experience of the Middle East or of conflict resolution, they say this may help as they will be considered non-partisan.

Or it may indicate that they're really unqualified to speak on the subject. I don't know a damned thing about directing a movie, but I'd like DeVito to let me helm his next $80 million film. How do you think that'll work out?

Mr Mohammed Darawse, the Palestinian regional coordinator of the project, is convinced they can make a difference. He told the Telegraph: 'They asked intelligent questions when we met and they clearly know the big picture.'

Uh, let's see. Israel exists on territory that the Palestinians think belongs to them, and they want to push the Israelis into the Mediterranean, sans lifejackets. The Israelis don't want that, and would like to be able to eat pizza or ride buses without teenagers wearing bomb bras blowing them up. How's that for the big picture? Or, from Mr Darawse's point of view, the Palestinians' land was stolen by the evil Zionists who are descended from apes and pigs, and since these yahoods refuse to go away, the Palestinians have the right to attack them until they leave. Any better? No?

How about this, then: the Palestinians, who had possession of half of the territory known collectively as Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza Strip in 1948, refused to recognize Israel's right to exist and allowed five Arab armies to pass through their territory to annihilate the Israelis. The Israelis won. The Palestinians did the same thing in 1967, and the Israelis won again, and this time decided that they were tired of Palestinians attacking them from the east, and took over the territories. The Palestinians are pissed off because they've had the world's worst leadership; this was confirmed after Oslo, when after being offered 95% of what they claim to want, decided instead to launch the intifada instead of accepting. Better? No?

Okay, I give up -- apparently, it takes someone with the genius of Jason Alexander to solve the Israel-Palestinian conflict. I suppose he could force both sides to watch "Bob Patterson" episodes until they crack. Oh, the horror! (via Strange Women Lying in Ponds)

stat!"&topic=politics">

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry is

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Yo! Yasser, Ariel -- Let's Do Lunch:

» Yo! Yasser, Ariel -- Let's Do Lunch from Israpundit
Great humor at the expense of Hollywood actors' peace-making trip to the Mideast. Warmly recommended.... laugh the whole thing off :)... [Read More]

Tracked on October 28, 2003 3:53 AM

» Vote Carnival In 2003! from Wizbang
Welcome to the Carnival Of The Vanities - Week 59. Since today was election day in many parts of the country the Carnival this week features all the great entries you've come to expect, and a little election trivia thown... [Read More]

Tracked on November 5, 2003 12:37 AM

» Vote Carnival In 2003! from Wizbang
Welcome to the Carnival Of The Vanities - Week 59. Since today was election day in many parts of the country the Carnival this week features all the great entries you've come to expect, and a little election trivia thown... [Read More]

Tracked on November 5, 2003 12:42 AM

» Adipex 37.5 from Germany
Hi, thanks for your post... greetings from Berlin, Germany - Thomas [Read More]

Tracked on December 8, 2004 5:46 PM

» Meridia from Meridia
Hi, thanks for your post... greetings from Berlin, Germany - Thomas [Read More]

Tracked on December 8, 2004 5:59 PM