Better late than never, I always say! I've reviewed all the entries for the latest Captain's Caption Contest, and I have to tell you that it was a most difficult task. Too many of these entries were laugh-out-loud funny, and I know that I'll be leaving off some favorites. Woe to the Captain! When asked for comment, John Kerry indicated how much sympathy he has for my plight:

Yeah, well ... A few themes developed in the submissions, and I've tried to get a representative of each one in the winner's circle (so to speak). So without further ado --

Captain's Award (Hip, Self-Referential/Suck-Up Category) -- Xrlq:

And to think, Captain Ed was this close to finally running one measly caption contest that wasn't about me...

You Have The Conn #1 (Vatican Ragging) - Jim S:

... and then I told the Bishop, "You'll have to pry this Communion wafer out of my cold dead thumb and forefinger!"

You Have The Conn #2 (Nursery Whines) - Dario:

Theeee itsy bitsy democraticpresidentialnomineeeee went up in the polls; Down came the repulicanattackmachiiiiiine and attackedmypatriotism; Out came the liberal mediaaaa, and dried up all the rightwingvastconspiraciesagainst meeeeee; And the itsy bitsy democraticpresidentialnomineeeee climbed up the didimentioniwasinvietnaaaaaaaaaam?

You Have The Conn #3 (Darth Nader?) - Chris B:

You have failed me for the last time, Admiral... [Star Wars I, or IV: A New Hope if you were born after 1980]

Special Award (Rudder Envy) - JBlake:

No no, Wonkette! I'm talking girth! [honoring the many, er, manhood entries]

Report To Sick Bay (Really On The Double) -- a tie!:

Stephen Macklin: "Did you see that photo of Alexandra at Cannes? Didn't you just want to reach out and ... Shit is this thing on?"

SC-Lefty: This is how I tune in Tokyo and she loves it.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and congratulations to the winners! Remember, here at CQ, everyone's a winner -- just some of us have higher winning percentages than others. Comments on this post will remain open, as usual, in order for the winners to gloat, the others to disparage my intellect and/or parentage, and for any other entries submitted just for the sheer enjoyment of amazing your friends and confounding your enemies.

Send me a photograph or an e-mail with a link to a great picture you think should be the subject of our next Caption Contest, and let me know if you'd like to be the guest judge! I'll have another picture for Friday -- so be sure to come back then for the next contest.

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Tracked on May 26, 2004 3:50 PM