We have the winners from this week's Captain's Caption Contests! Many were entered, but in the end, few were chosen, and they were chosen by Peyton and Debbie Randolph, two long-time readers of Captain's Quarters! Just to give you another look at the menu, here's the picture:

You all hit almost every theme imaginable for this -- the only one I thought got missed was, "You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant." Thank goodness, too -- that was pretty damned lame. (Now you know why I host these instead of enter them.) Without further ado, I'll serve up the winners:

Captain's Award! (First among several with a great idea. Kerry is so not John Candy) -- MDatek:

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!

Report to sick bay, on the double! (No lawsuit about the bill?) -- Paul B:

So me and Teddy are at Scores in NYC the other day. We are sitting in the V.I.P. room as always and Teddy's tanked, big newsflash. Well I'm getting a lap dance and I look over and who is getting one next to me? None other than bin Laden! That's right and he tells me he wants me to win in November. Boy he can party. Crazy thing I don't know how he smuggled the goat into the joint for the lap dance?

You have the conn #1! (The Product Placement category) -- Roninranger:

A tense moment develops, as Senator Kerry notices a patron defiantly using ketchup not made by the Heinz Corporation.

You have the conn #2! (Not a ritzy restaraunt in New York, but...) -- The Nose:

Hey ... are you a foreign leader?

You have the conn #3! (The cunning "Every-man" imitation) -- Stephen Macklin:

So that door that says "Men" is a bathroom. And any guy who wants to can go in there and do his business? Oh, that's just sick.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and congratulations to the winners! Remember, here at CQ, everyone's a winner -- just some of us have higher winning percentages than others. Comments on this post will remain open, as usual, in order for the winners to gloat, the others to disparage Peyton's and Debbie's intellect and/or my parentage, and for any other entries submitted just for the sheer enjoyment of amazing your friends and confounding your enemies.

Send me a photograph or an e-mail with a link to a great picture you think should be the subject of our next Caption Contest, and let me know if you'd like to be the guest judge! I'll have another picture for Friday -- so be sure to come back then for the next contest.

UPDATE: We accidentally identified the wrong person as the winner! MDatek actually entered the first "Orange Whip" entry. Sorry, MDatek! For the record, Flipper's entry was "John Kerry, in an effort to win over the deaf/mute voters, inadvertantly orders a side of broiled tractor to go with his chicken salad sandwich."

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Tracked on June 9, 2004 12:30 PM