Like I told you when this edition of the contest opened, blogging is like politics -- it's a tough balancing act. When something trips you up, like a guest-judging mixup, it's hard to keep your balance! One man who may understand that better than anyone this month may be this guy:

One week late, here are the winners, this time chosen by myself:

Captain's Award (Seared Edition) - Retired Military:

"Back when I was a boy, I used to go where the railroad was being built near my home and bring water to the Chinese laborers. That memory is seared, seared, into me"

"Pssst Pssst Senator Kerry, Chinese laborers havent worked on the railroad for 60 years before you were born"

"I'm sorry, my speechwriteers handed me the wrong speech. Why back when I was a boy, I used to go where the railroad was being built near my home and bring water to the labor union members who were building it. Why that is where I first learned how to use a sledgehammer. That memory is seared, seared into me."

You Have The Conn #1 (Something's Missing) - Stephen Macklin:

I'm John Kerry, and I Have No Platform

(stolen from here, as he admits)

You Have The Conn #2 (Vintage Campaign Advertising) - Shark:

(sung to the Good-n-Plenty song)

Kerry's Lying!
Kerry's Lying!
Kerry's Lying!
Kerry's Lying!

Johnny Kerry was a swift boateer-
Said he was in Cambodia, but he was only "near"
He was taking CIA men on a secret jungle run
But he had a lucky hat to make sure the job got done.

Johnny Sez: "That Memory is Seared!"
Johnny Sez: "Nixon told a lie!"
Johnny Sez: "That memory is seared

But he wasn't in Cambodia, he was only near.

Kerry's lying!
Kerry's lying!
Kerry's lying!
Kerry's lying!..........

You Have The Conn #3 (Bronze Star, er, Medal) - Doppelganglander:

"With the Olympic games opening in Athens this week, I am reminded of my experiences competing on the balance beam for the U.S. gymnastics team. It was the 1968 games in Cambodia, and the event is seared -- seared in my memory."

Report To Sick Bay (Or The Detox Center) - Mike G:

With another sly signal reminiscent of his Puff the Magic Dragon sing along, John Kerry demonstrates that he thinks he knows how to do a line.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and congratulations to the winners! Remember, here at CQ, everyone's a winner -- just some of us have higher winning percentages than others. Comments on this post will remain open, as usual, in order for the winners to gloat, the others to disparage my intellect and/or my parentage, and for any other entries submitted just for the sheer enjoyment of amazing your friends and confounding your enemies.

As I mentioned, your donations continue to flow into the tipjars set up to help me defray the costs of attending the Republican National Convention, and they are much appreciated. You raised about $250 more this past week. I'm extremely grateful, and I hope to give everyone their money's worth when I'm at Madison Square Garden for the show. The tipjars will remain on the left sidebar until the convention.

Send me a photograph or an e-mail with a link to a great picture you think should be the subject of our next Caption Contest, and let me know if you'd like to be the guest judge! I'll have another picture for Friday -- so be sure to come back then for the next contest.

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