Matt Drudge links to an article tonight from the Phoenix Business Journal that reveals just how disconnected from reality the Kerry campaign has become. Teresa Heinz Kerry spoke today at a million-dollar fundraiser and managed to keep up with every conspiracy theory that Democrats have been throwing from the stump:

In regard to the hunt for terror leader Osama Bin Laden, Heinz Kerry said she could see the al-Qaida chief being caught before the November election.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he appeared in the next month," said Heinz Kerry, alluding to a possible capture by United States and allied forces before election day.

Conspiracy Theory #1: Bush Already Has Osama But Is Just Waiting For Election Eve To Announce It -- This hoary chestnut has been trotted out for spins around the political block by such Democratic luminaries as Madeline Albright and Howard Dean. It presumes that George Bush would pass up a golden opportunity to take the steam out of the "insurgency" in Iraq and possibly save hundreds of lives just to gain some slight electoral advantage just before the election.

How much of an advantage would Osama's capture bring? Probably one or two points. Kerry won't go below 40% in any event, and right now Bush leads in all major polling. Let's face it -- Osama's capture isn't going to win Bush the all-important Franken Fringe demographic, and right now that's about all Kerry has left.

The spouse of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry also hit President Bush on Iraq, saying it should not be equated with anti-terrorism efforts and that the current administration chose to create a "hotbed for terrorism" in Iraq when dictator Saddam Hussein did not pose an immediate threat. Heinz Kerry also said she agrees with her husband that a military draft may be reinstated under Bush.

Conspiracy Theories #2 and #3: Iraq Had No Terrorists Before Saddam Was Deposed, and The Republicans Want To Reinstate The Draft. Normally people tend to put a little rhetorical space between their lunatic rants, but like Jerry Reed once sang, Teresa's got a long way to go and a short time to get there.

Saddam hosted a veritable all-star team of Islamofascist terrorists such as Abu Masab al-Zarqawi, the al-Qaeda operative running the Tawid terrorists that are beheading anyone they can grab right now. The lineup also included Abu Nidal and Abu Abbas. In fact, the Telegraph reported in 2002 that Saddam killed Abu Nidal for refusing to train al-Qaeda terrorist groups to attack the United States:

While in Baghdad, Abu Nidal, whose real name was Sabri al-Banna, came under pressure from Saddam to help train groups of al-Qa'eda fighters who moved to northern Iraq after fleeing Afghanistan. Saddam also wanted Abu Nidal to carry out attacks against the US and its allies.

When Abu Nidal refused, Saddam ordered his intelligence chiefs to assassinate him. He was shot dead last weekend when Iraqi security forces burst into his apartment in central Baghdad. The body was taken to the hospital where he had had cancer treatment.

And let's not forget the training facility at Salman Pak, either. According to defectors from the IIS, Iraqi intelligence used the facility to train the Fedayeen Saddam, the Ba'athist irregulars that not only commit terrorist attacks now but also worked as enforcers to prevent desertions and defections from the Iraqi Army during the war. Since 1995, Saddam trained Islamic "militants" in the art of skyjackings and other terrorist activities. The IIS also conducted chemical-weapons development at Salman Pak.

Of course, even apart from all of that, the fact that terrorists have been attacking Coalition forces since the fall of Baghdad also demonstrates that they had planned well in advance to operate in Iraq. Their presence in Iraq in the form of Zarqawi and his gang, as well as others, present de facto evidence that Iraq is the central theater for the war against Islamofascist terror at the moment.

As for the draft -- well, both Whiskey and I have pointed this out, but only one party has been stupid enough to introduce legislation to reinstate the draft, and their mascot is as big an ass as the two men who tried it. If the Republicans wanted a draft, they would have called for it in the days immediately after 9/11, when the nation's mood may have supported it as a necessary measure for the common defense. But the GOP obviously doesn't want it, Rumsfeld doesn't want it, and the armed forces absolutely don't want it.

The only draft that Republicans like is the one passing between the ears of Senator Kerry and the rest of the gang of idiots perpetrating this urban legend. They're southbound, just watchin' Kerry run ...

You still have to hand it to Teresa. Most Democrats have been limiting themselves to just one lunatic-fringe assertion per appearance. She's the only "mainstream" Democrat to get the hat trick.

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