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December 10, 2004
Too Much Time On Their Hands

The Washington Times writes today about the emergence of a sport that features television coverage, enthusiast associations, and high-stakes gambling. Look out, ESPN poker challenges, here comes ... Rock, Paper, Scissors?

A 33-year-old body piercer from the District, he is better known as Master Roshambollah, perhaps the most feared Rock Paper Scissors player in the world. Fear being a relative term. Crushing with a fist, cutting with extended fingers, smothering with a flat hand, Mr. Simmons has thrown down for money and sport, in bars and, well, bigger bars. And he's not alone.

Long regarded as the civilized way of settling life's thorniest conundrums such as who pays for the next round Rock Paper Scissors is evolving into something else entirely: a genuine, bona fide, almost legitimate sport, sans the towel doffing, fan pummeling and steroid injecting common to its more celebrated peers.

The World Rock Paper Scissors (RPS) Society yep, there's one of those, too boasts 2,200 members. The winner of this year's world championship was honored with a parade at Disney World. Simon & Schuster recently published an official strategy guide.

My first reaction to this story was, "You have got to be kidding me." It's also my second, third, and fourth reaction. Patrick Hruby's article for the Times is tongue-in-cheek, but the organizers of RPS are apparently quite serious. I used to think that there was nothing more boring than watching others play poker (or more painful to my finances than me playing it), but the notion that a couple of people squaring off for RPS grudge matches makes ESPN's poker coverage look like the Thrilla in Manila.

If anyone doubted that a significant number of Americans suffer from arrested development, this is it. What's next, the Duck-Duck-Goose League? Hide-and-seek tournaments? Chutes and Ladders Olympics? Find these people something productive to do with all that spare time they have -- please.

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Posted by Ed Morrissey at December 10, 2004 7:24 AM

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» Wizbang Fever! from AMERICAN DIGEST
Because nobody asked me, here are my current picks in the Wizbang 2004 Weblog Awards. MOST IMPORTANT CATEGORY! Best Essayist: AMERICAN DIGEST aka "ME." Because I would like to get at least 1% of the vote. And by the way, why isn't The Belmont Club in t... [Read More]

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» Wizbang Fever! from AMERICAN DIGEST
Because nobody asked me, here are my current picks in the Wizbang 2004 Weblog Awards. MOST IMPORTANT CATEGORY! Best Essayist: AMERICAN DIGEST aka "ME." Because I would like to get at least 1% of the vote. And by the way, why isn't The Belmont Club in t... [Read More]

Tracked on December 10, 2004 1:24 PM



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