For Christmas Day, the Washington Times reports on a poll taken this week on religion. In a small surprise, the poll shows that traditional monotheism still ranks highly among Americans of all political stripes and that New Age and Eastern beliefs have not gained much of a toehold:

Traditional religion is still the bedrock of America, with "very large majorities" of the public steadfast in their belief in God and the birth and Resurrection of Jesus Christ -- with belief in astrology, ghosts and other New Age hallmarks lagging behind.

Overall, 82 percent of Americans believe in God, according to a recent Harris poll, which also revealed that 73 percent also believe in miracles, 70 percent in life after death, 70 percent in the existence of heaven, and 70 percent that Jesus is the Son of God. In addition, 68 percent believe in angels and 66 percent in the Resurrection of Christ.

Six out of 10 believe in the devil and the existence of hell.

The Times notes a "partisan divide", with a twelve-point difference between Republicans and Democrats on the existence of God. However, the figures run 93 percent for the GOP and 81 percent for the Democrats -- so rather than God being a partisan trophy, it appears that both sides overwhelmingly believe in one monotheistic God. In fact, the Times says that the Democrats edge Republicans in their belief in miracles -- which finally explains the John Kerry nomination last year. Sixty-seven percent of Republicans believe that the Devil and hell exist, while 61 percent of Democrats agree. (The only difference is that two-thirds of them believe that George W Bush is the Devil and that Suburbia is Hell.)

More women than men believe in ghosts, while more men than women believe in UFOs. This proves that men will believe almost anything if it comes with really great gadgetry.

When reached for comment, the Golden Calf reminded us that "God always polls well at his peaks -- his birthday and April 15th. I expect to do better at my traditional height, which is the the couple of weeks between Spring Break and the Oscars." He did express disappointment that Billy Crystal and Chris Rock won't be hosting the latter.

God, as always, could not be reached for direct comment, but various spokespeople noticed a decided rise in attendance at His celebrations this week to underscore the polling numbers. They assure us that God keeps a close eye on His metrics and delights when His supporters come to celebrate with Him. They also extended His appreciation for all the best wishes and thoughts He receives this time of year and hopes -- as always -- that His friends stay in touch all year round.

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