In all my years, I have never understood the supposed charm of the Mile High Club. In modern jets, the seats are far too cramped, and the bathrooms are worse. The flight experience produces physical reactions closer to a hangover than sexual arousal, and anyone who thinks that mutual sexual gratification can take place under such circumstances probably spends too much time reading Penthouse Forum than this blog. However, apparently the dream remains alive:

A California couple are facing federal charges after they refused to stop "overt sexual activity" during a flight to Raleigh, authorities said. Carl Warren Persing of Lakewood, Calif., and Dawn Elizabeth Sewell of Huntington Beach, Calif., are accused of interfering with flight crew members during a Sept. 15 Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles with a stop in Phoenix. ...

According to court documents, flight attendants saw Persing and Sewell kissing, embracing and "acting in a manner that made other passengers uncomfortable" while the plane was stopped in Phoenix. Persing was observed kissing Sewell near her breast and was also observed with his face pressed against Sewell's lower body.

A flight attendant asked them to stop. They obeyed initially but resumed the behavior during the flight from Phoenix to Raleigh.

When the flight attendant again requested them to stop, Persing allegedly told the flight attendant: "I'm going to give you one warning to get out of my face."

Don't you just love that clinical description from AP? I wonder if the reporter had to resist the urge to write, "Persing was rounding third base and heading for home," which would have told the story a little more clearly.

People seem to have forgotten that interfering with a flight attendant is a federal offense, and not one that authorities take lightly, especially after 9/11. Threatening a crew member in that manner certainly qualifies the randy passenger for a stay at Club Fed. One wonders if Persing will be as enthusiastic about joining sex clubs there as he was on the Southwest Airlines flight.

Before I entered the call-center industry, I drove a cab for a couple of months in the LA area. One of my fares was a very drunk couple who wanted to go to Las Vegas to get married, shortly after leaving a bar. I drove them to both of their houses so they could collect a few things, and had to listen to the most insipid romantic dialogue I've heard outside of certain thrash-metal songs. "I f*****g love ya," followed by "I f*****g love ya, too" at some point (after a half-hour or so) gave way to a strange silence. I looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed they had disappeared -- and then I saw that they had started removing clothing laying half-off the bench seat in back. I ran over a few Botts dots and swerved briefly, which kept them from consummating the pending nuptials in the back seat of my cab.

They had asked to go to John Wayne Airport, and so I took them there -- at 3 am. They didn't bother to tip me, which relieved my guilt as I left them at the closed airport -- and the last thing I heard from the man was "Hey, where's all the f****g people?" Hopefully, they slept off their hangover before deciding to get married.

It doesn't surprise me that alcohol was involved in the Southwest Airlines incident. It's the only lubricant that could possibly convince people to embarrass themselves in public in such a manner.

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» The Mile-High Club: The Ghetto Edition from customerservant.com
RALEIGH, N.C. Nov 13, 2006 (AP)— A California couple are facing federal charges after they refused to stop “overt sexual activity” during a flight to Raleigh, authorities said. Carl Warren Persing of Lakewood, Calif., and Dawn Elizabeth S... [Read More]

Tracked on November 14, 2006 10:52 AM