July 22, 2007

There Once Was A Man With No Class ...

John Kerry has decided to broaden his public appeal by branching into humor -- deliberately, as it turns out, rather than just being a joke as in 2004. He delivered his highbrow brand of humor at a DSCC fundraiser last weekend, but the Hill just got around to reporting it on Friday. His joke came at the expense of his colleague, David Vitter, and his woes from the connection to a criminal case of prostitution (via The Moderate Voice):

Speaking at a Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC) fundraiser last weekend, Kerry recited a five-line poem about Sen. David Vitter (R-La.), who recently found himself in hot water when his phone number showed up on the records of a woman accused of running a Washington prostitution ring. ...

Kerry made light of the situation with a limerick when he spoke at the event, which was held, appropriately enough, in Nantucket, Mass.

“There once was a man named Vitter/Who vowed that he wasn’t a quitter/But with stories of women/And all of his sinnin’/He knows his career’s in the — oh, never mind,” Kerry said.

Yes, what a classy display that must have been! John Kerry, whose relevance has continued to diminish after his run as the worst major-party presidential candidate since his Massachussetts colleague Mchael Dukakis, decided to score a few points for hipness by attacking Vitter. As limericks go, the best that can be said for Kerry's poetry is that it rhymes. It doesn't take much imagination to match up Vitter with "s*****r". Vitter's grammar-school classmates undoubtably did that much by the time they turned eight, which is apparently Kerry's emotional age.

Besides, if Democrats want to make fun of women & sinnin', Republicans will have no problem mentioning the husband of their current presidential-primary frontrunner. Bill Clinton's track record makes Vitter look like a cloistered nun. And although Vitter broke the law, at least none of his paramours ended up dead in the back of a car, unlike Kerry's colleague in the Senate. Interestingly, that didn't put Ted Kennedy's political career in the toilet, although it should have done so.

In the interest of political humor, though, we should attempt to help Kerry improve his limerick writing. Be sure to offer your own limericks in the comments section. I'll post the best of them here later today!


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Comments (78)

Posted by Gwedd | July 22, 2007 10:55 AM

There once was a Pol from old Mass.

Who couldn't help being an @ss.

His life's in a funk.

His career has been punked.

He's an @ss from Ol' Mass with no class.

Posted by Mifouf | July 22, 2007 11:07 AM

There once was a guy from Swiftie

Who knew that all wounds were niftie.

When some wounds were invisible

And some others were risible,

His crew ousted the ass from their midstie.

Posted by William Teach | July 22, 2007 11:27 AM

There once was an idiot from Mass,

who tried to go study in Paris,

he got wounded in 'Nam,

of his fellow soldiers he gave not a damn,

then he became a poodle for a rich pain in the @ss.

Posted by Continuum | July 22, 2007 11:37 AM

How dare Kerry mock a god-fearing, law-abiding, good Christain neocon Republican hypocrite !

Doesn't he know that Clinton got a BJ in the Oval Office ??????

We need more Senators like Republican David Vitter to point out the moral depravity of the Democrats.

Sure maybe couple of neocons got fancy with the Congressional pages, or propositioned undercover police officers in Florida, or took some bribes. But, those errors are all in their PERSONAL LIVES.

In PUBLIC they were all against whores, gays, and corruption.

As his wife said, the press should leave him alone, so that Vitter can continue his God given crusade against Gay marriage, for the Sanctity of Marriage, and against all forms of moral depravity which are tearing apart this country.

Posted by dave rywall | July 22, 2007 11:39 AM

There once was a man named Ed,

With party blinders stuck to his head,

He huffed til he turned blue,

At things his own party did too,

Until his credibility was dead.

Posted by Byron | July 22, 2007 11:39 AM

Kerry came back from the 'Nam
And labeled his mates Genghis Khan.
Some medals he tossed,
But not his, so no cost,
Just another career move for John.

Posted by STSA | July 22, 2007 11:40 AM

There was a VP whose possessive was Dick's

One day he went hunting in the sticks

He missed the Buck

Was heard to remark "****"

And then later he CLASSIFIED

Posted by Carol Herman | July 22, 2007 11:47 AM

Gigolo guy. It's amazing the BOnkeys aren't ashamed. But Jon Cary is one of their "warriors."

Anyway, if he wasn't a gigolo, he wouldn't make it as a comedian, either.

Posted by Gwedd | July 22, 2007 11:48 AM


I still cannot fathom how Ol' Liveshot made it out of Vietnam without being fragged.

What a loser that guy is.

Posted by dave rywall | July 22, 2007 11:48 AM

There once was a 'ho in DC,

Who banged a guy named DV,

Once outed he squirmed,

Righties shrieked "Clinton's the REAL worm!"

And republicans stank of hypocrisy.

Posted by richard mcenroe | July 22, 2007 11:48 AM

Republicans pay hookers.
Democrats molest staffers. And waitresses and volunteers and the First Amendment...

Posted by the fly-man | July 22, 2007 11:49 AM

Thanks for rising above it all Capt'n Ed. Your ability to restrain from little girl gossip keeps you at the top as a source for sound and respectable discourse. How unbelievably juvenile. You just went down a couple of notches for me.

Posted by edward cropper | July 22, 2007 11:55 AM

Have you heard of the loser from Mass
a certified arrogant ass
who although a quitter
slams a colleague named Vitter
with comments totally lacking in class

Posted by RThompson | July 22, 2007 11:57 AM

There once was a pol named John Kerry,
Of whom the electorate was wary,
When he ran in '04
They showed him the door
And now he's a big dingle-berry.

Posted by Carol Herman | July 22, 2007 11:57 AM

Oh, Captain, at lesast the gigolo isn't do this from the Oval Office!

And, yes, William Teach, I do believe "halp is on the way," Kerry's wife is a pain in the Arse. She bought it. And, the Catholic rules are that she's forced to keep it.

Maybe, Theresa holds back on his allowance, if he can't get his name in the paper?

Posted by Ken Oglesby | July 22, 2007 12:04 PM

Ah,the democratic party.
The party of inclusion,diversity,tolerance,love,truth,justice,sincerity,and above all else,sensitivity.
Don't you just love 'em?

Posted by Kim | July 22, 2007 12:17 PM

OK, Skipper you going down to their level, the level of petty BS that the Right and Left throw around pretending it's politics. Attacking Hilary as a married women is real brave and manly, Kerry mocking Vitter is a cheap shot. And you of all people I respect jump right end and defend like the Priests of old.

Grow up.

Posted by Mike | July 22, 2007 12:19 PM

And let us not forget Teddy Kennedy's written offer to turn traitor on behalf of the Soviet Union during the Cold War.

Posted by Philip | July 22, 2007 12:21 PM

There once was a contender named Hillary!
Whose husband deserved the pillory.
But with a naked lust for power.
And her own dried up little flower.
She ignores her part in the story.

Posted by Ray | July 22, 2007 12:27 PM

Apperently the liberals are going to retract their often repeated "It's Just Sex!" excuses.

Posted by I R A Darth Aggie | July 22, 2007 12:29 PM

Let's not forget that Teddy Kennedy also violated the law when he swam away that night in Chappaquidic...

Posted by dave rywall | July 22, 2007 12:40 PM

Let's not forget that Ted Kennedy has sweet f**k all to do with this story.

If it is your position that members of political party A may not comment on the improprieties of political party B because members of political party A are guilty of their own improprieties, then clearly, both parties must shut up.

Vitter got caught, so take your lumps and move on. That is, if you're adult enough.

Posted by Ray | July 22, 2007 12:45 PM

The liberals will slam David Vitter
because he's a Republican critter.
"It's Just Sex!, they all say,
when it's a Democrat's day
to confess extramarital litter.

Posted by blogenfreude | July 22, 2007 12:50 PM

Oh please - none of the people mentioned ran on 'family values' the way Vitter did, nor did the try and cram their 'values' down every else's throat. And none of those Dems ever had to pay for it.

Nor were diapers involved.

That sanctimonious hypocrite deserves to be drummed out of the Senate. Pass the popcorn.

Posted by Kim | July 22, 2007 12:56 PM

Skipper, you happy, your halo moralist BS gets people off. Never mind that men are dying hourly, that we can't communicate that the West is at war. What War? Pro Sports are still up, Vegas is lit up, what war? Who's dying, it ain't the upper middle. Take a look at the demographics of who's dying for us. And you guys are arguing about who's getting laid. Whine, whine, bitch, bitch, finger point, mock etc. It's a very selfish piece of real estate we live in. Read some history, empires implode over night.

Posted by arb | July 22, 2007 1:04 PM

The Senator has quite the knack
For stabbing colleagues in the back.
He often condemns
With jokes far from gems.
But, hey, he's not “stuck in Iraq."

Posted by carole | July 22, 2007 1:13 PM

I think a story like this about Kerry is simply
funny and not meant to be a political

The liberals speaking here have no,
right to speak about Ed and the people with
comments as childish. They are not, they
simply have a sense of humor. Got it?

Believe me, the liberals lies about many
conservatives are in the news every day.

For a party that has spent years trying to
destroy a president, you are simply strange
to think you have any credibility at all with
anyone in the west.

Posted by Robes | July 22, 2007 1:19 PM

We know of this hack pol from Mass
long winded and so shy of class
He once tried to be Prez
but the "swifties" he sez
claimed he shot his ownself in the @ss

Posted by Robes | July 22, 2007 1:41 PM

We all know this hack named John Kerry
His politics too often scary
Though he voted attack
He wants out of Iraq
Cause the fighting is just way too hairy.

Posted by Clyde | July 22, 2007 1:49 PM

The scandal about David Vitter
Had liberal hearts all atwitter
They came here and crowed,
And showed all they knowed*
About being angry and bitter

* - Yes, I know it should be KNEW, but I took some poetic license. Deal with it!

Posted by Scratches his Head | July 22, 2007 2:00 PM

I thought Kerry's limerick was pretty funny, when you consider the 2004 Vitter plank:


The anti Kerry humor here is a good reminder of the power of political manipulation (used by both parties, mind you). It remains amazing to me that the party who ran (successfully) two guys for P/VP that had never served in combat, and whose military service was at best, dodgy (dodgy, hell, where was Cheney!!!???), managed to spin Kerry's service down the Swift boat drain.

Got to hand it to the right wing propoganda machine (AKA Swiftboat $$$). It was a genuine (no sarcasm here) accomplishment. To this day, many vets, and some that post here, can't stand Kerry, based on the distortions represented by the Swifties, despite members of Kerry's crew coming forward to support him, and yet are head over heels in love in Bush/Cheney.


Posted by Continuum | July 22, 2007 2:09 PM

Hey, guys . . . . stop picking on Vitter.

I mean at least his crimes weren't as bad as some.

Vitters didn't impersonate a police officer like Romney's aide Jay Garrity (who just resigned).

He didn't take over $2,000,000 in bribes as a Congressman from California.

Vitters didn't cozy up to the underage Pages like Tom Foley.

He wasn't a Florida Romney campaign chairman arrested for soliticiting sex in a public restroom.

Hell, Vitters wasn't even a Guiliani campaign chariman arrested by the FBI for distributing coke in South Carolina.

He was more in the ilk of Bush's chairman for absitenence education who got identified as yet another of the madam's clients.

So, in the wide world of Republican crimes and misdeeds, Vitters just rates on the hypocrisy scale (with a non felony crime).

So, go easy on the poor guy. (Besides, don't forget that Clinton got a BJ in the Oval Office.)

Posted by some lurker | July 22, 2007 2:15 PM

Inspired directly from the post's title:

There once was a man with no class
Who just loved to talk out his @$$
"Our troops' lives!" he'll extort
But then he's pro-abort
And he shan't get Communion at Mass!


There once were some miserable folk
Who just can't take a Kerry joke
They whined and they trolled
All their talking points old
I would sure like the weed that they toke.

Posted by unclesmrgol | July 22, 2007 2:16 PM

Guys, good job. You've gotten under Dave Rywall's skin so much that he had to post a second time.

And Rywall's attempt at rebuttal didn't even rhyme.

Posted by Gwedd | July 22, 2007 2:26 PM

Dearest Kim,

I dunno what demographics you are looking at, but our current military is made up of volunteers with pretty good educations.

In fact, as of last friday (20 July) you couldn't even enlist without a high school diploma or a GED, and that GED would preclude you from quite a few specialties without decent asvab scores.

You do a grave injustice to our military when you comment as you have here. Those young men and women have so much more going for them than those who stay out of the service that it isn't even funny.

Posted by Robes | July 22, 2007 2:38 PM

This clown tried a joke on Nantucket
He knew that his Dem friends all dug it
He picked on poor Vitter
Now the press is atwitter
Over his pitiful Nantucket nugget

HeeHee...Haven't had this much fun in weeks!

Posted by Kim | July 22, 2007 2:52 PM

Dear Gwedd

I'm saying service and dying is not equal. There is the "class" thing. It's the same people, many tours over and over, suffering and dying. If we want to win, everybody has to be there. Not just the legacy kids. With respect, the canard that I do "grave injustice" is not the way to press an argument. But simply a diversion; nail the guy by questioning his loyalty. Not very Jesuit of you. No question boys and girls doing the experience have a lot going for them. Buts it's not fair for the slackers. They'll never love America enjoying the safety of the Homeland.

Posted by viking01 | July 22, 2007 3:17 PM

A gigolo traded ketchup for cod,
then whined "by the Swifties been scrod!"
He boated Cambodia,
or such bull he told ya,
confirming himself an insufferable clod.

Posted by RosaLisa | July 22, 2007 3:38 PM

Oh he came from Massachusetts,
And he ran for president,
But then some Vietnam vets,
Made his BS evident.

And still he thought his mere words,
Could prove his hero claim,
The way he hides his records,
Indicates there's cause for shame.

Oh, John Kerry,
Shut up and get lost,
Your words are twice as phony,
As those medals that you tossed.

Posted by Jerry | July 22, 2007 3:47 PM

Hurry, be careful,Don't let it tip, be wary
carefully move that porta-potty, don't tarry
Teams of four
No less, no more
In this new sport, the John Carry

Posted by Jerry | July 22, 2007 3:49 PM

Hurry, be careful,Don't let it tip, be wary
carefully move that porta-potty, don't tarry
Teams of four
No less, no more
In this new sport, the John Carry

Posted by Britt | July 22, 2007 4:27 PM

Kerry had to stop at "oh never mind", cause the next word in his limerick was "winning." That kind of ruined the whole point of the joke.

Posted by Gwedd | July 22, 2007 4:27 PM


On your latter point, I fully agree.

However, having said that, i would rather serve alongside those who have chosen service to the nation, than alongside a drafted man or woman.

As a veteran, I will fight tooth and nail to STOP any draft, unless the emergency is so overwhelming that we are left with no other choice., and that the draft so instituted be made universal, with no one exempted for any reason.

I believe that conscription is basically evil, and subversive of good order within the ranks.

In fact, I would rather replace our current system with the type Heinlein favored in his novel "Starship Troopers". The only perople allowed to vote, hold government jobs, or run for office are those who have faithfully performed national service. No one is forced to join, but only those who do get the full benefits of citizenship. I think that that is a very fair system.


Posted by Rhymes With Right | July 22, 2007 4:47 PM

There once was a pol named John Kerry
Who needed a Veep not too scary.
So for his number two
he picked somebody who
appears to be some sort of f***y!

Posted by Kim | July 22, 2007 4:48 PM


Napoleon would never had made it to Moscow sans the Levee En Masse. (I know he screwed himself.) The Terror Movement will sooner or later flick a CBRN at North America. Picking up the pieces and providing the retaliation will require massive manpower. New Orleans being an example of effort required to rescue and rebuild a Metropolitan area. You are putting a massive responsibility on a problematic Pentagon . Draft them, train 'em now, release 'em, and call 'em up trained and ready. Be prepared. You never know where and when the hit will happen. I prefer reading the April NIE; it's science.


Posted by Cybrludite [TypeKey Profile Page] | July 22, 2007 5:15 PM

In the DC prostitution case,
Dave Vitter was found to be base,
A man of honor would resign
if caught in this sort of crime
But an honorable man wouldn't be a "John" in the first place.

Posted by capitano | July 22, 2007 5:30 PM

Kerry claimed the election was stole.
"Have you seen the Times' exit poll?"

But the voters said: "Meh,
are you sure you're not ghey?"

"You metrosexual Masshole."

Posted by Ray | July 22, 2007 6:47 PM

The liberals are all in a twitter
'cause John Kerry made a rhyme about Ritter.
But I remember the day
when the votes went astray
and knocked John's presidential bid in the — oh, never mind.

Posted by Ray | July 22, 2007 6:50 PM

Sorry, that should be Vitter and not Ritter. Guess I've been reading too many Tom Clancy books.

Posted by gitarfan | July 22, 2007 7:36 PM

Hey Continuum, just some other thoughts.

Don't forget the $400,000 from the Rich family for that pardon and the one for HRC's brother and I wonder how much of the pardon sale money went to the Clintons? Oh and don't forget the PR terrorists and, hey, Bill pardoned a dope dealer too!

Foley resigned even though he didn't touch anyone unlike Frank and Studds who thought it was okay to have sex with the pages. Studds even bragged about it. How's that Jefferson probe going? Hard to tell since the Democrat public relations...I mean the MSM doesn't think much of it. Is Feinstein still voting contracts to her husbands company? Is Murtha ready to "do business"? How are Harry's land deals doing? The Pelosi family sure is doing well. I wish MY mom was Speaker. Say, How much did a night in the Lincoln bedroom cost? What was that Travelgate thing all about?

Has Edwards "channeled" any dead babies latelty? Too bad that Christmas in Cambodia thing was "seared" into everyone elses brain. What's the protocol for meeting our enemies in Paris? You know, I haven't called anyone a babykiller lately. You're a babykiller!! There, I feel better

Posted by Mike | July 22, 2007 7:43 PM

Dear Dave Rywall:

Hmm. Mentioning Teddy Kennedy was merely an extention of a point made in the original post, not an excuse for poor behavior on the part of anyone. One of the primary ways to differentiate conservative and liberal philosophy is that conservatives tend to hold individuals responsible for their actions while liberals embrace victim culture and dislike judging anyone. Vitter screwed up, no excuses or explanations are necessary nor will they help. The overall point of the post, with which I agree, is the utter cluelessness and lack of class of John Kerry.

Posted by dave rywall | July 22, 2007 8:20 PM

Well, Mike, be sure to let me know when conservatives are going to start holding Vitter responsible for his actions. I can't wait.

As I said, conservatives should put a sock in it, take their lumps and weather the storm. Vitter deserves all the mockery he's getting and more.

There is nobody on earth able to live up to the impossible moral standards Americans expect of their public servants. You're all living in some ridiculous la la land.

Posted by viking01 | July 22, 2007 8:33 PM

Da libwal shuwa is sounding vewy, vewy angwy. Having a Cindy Sheehan moment, perhaps? My how moral they've become now that Slick is out of office!

Keep rattling his cage folks. The more hate he vents here the saner his kids may be when they finally "escape" home at age 18.

Posted by Ray | July 22, 2007 9:02 PM

"There is nobody on earth able to live up to the impossible moral standards Americans expect of their public servants. You're all living in some ridiculous la la land."

Americans, in general, understand that people are merely mortal and sometimes can not live up to the standards that is expected of a holder of public office. That is why you don't see a large percentage of Americans asking for Vitter to resign because of this. The greatest outrage is not coming from the American public, it is coming from the political opposition and the media who thrive on scandal.

If the Clinton "sex scandals" proved anything at all, it is that most Americans care less about things like marital infidelity than the members of Congress do, or, more precisely, pretend to do when some moral impropriety involve members of the opposition party.

Posted by AnonymousDrivel | July 22, 2007 9:08 PM

This joker steps into our midst,
His "talent" is not to be missed,
With cheap shot at his hand,
Glancing blow it did land,
Still, voters just want him dismissed.

Posted by Bullshark | July 22, 2007 9:09 PM

Oh, Kim, the April Nie
is science brought to you
by the people who knew
of all the Iraqi WMD.

Who's the cherry picker now?

Posted by richard mcenroe | July 22, 2007 9:16 PM

Yeah, Continuum... after all, it's not like he hired an impreached judge to run his campaign, like Hillary, or funneled a billion and a half bucks of business to his spouse, like Feinstein,, and he didn;t get into real estate deals with the biggest slumlord and fixer like Obama...

Posted by unclesmrgol | July 22, 2007 9:45 PM

Dave Rywall,

I'm so glad we amuse you. Your Liberals amuse me too.

The point is that how a person treats a private trust is generally a clue as to how they treat a public one. And vice versa. Vitter will be held accountable, you can bet on that. Republicans tend to have high expectations of their representatives, while the Democrats -- well, Teddy is a prime example of what they expect, a guy who loves his ocean view so much that he couldn't countenance a renewable energy plant within that view.

Honest Abe, the first Republican President, isn't also our most revered President for nothing. He made mistakes, but did so honestly, not for self-aggrandizement. Like the current President, his ratings were at an all time low, because we appeared to be spending lots of men's lives and lots of money on a war we couldn't win, and most Americans no longer supported. Only Grant's victories just prior to the elections allowed Lincoln to squeak by into a second term. Prior to those, Democratic efforts to portray Lincoln as a demonstrated buffoon hick who didn't have the intelligence to hold office were working.

If the Democrats had taken power in that election, the US would still have slavery today, and Canada would still be the terminus of the Underground Railway. Maybe you guys would now have a fence along the border, having grown tired of accepting and supporting downtrodden people fleeing their conditions from south of the border. Or maybe we would, sort of like the Berlin Wall, to keep our second class non-citizens in.

We have the same kinds of Democrats in power today -- ones who can't think past winning the next election, and who would yield up a whole generation of Iraqis to anarchy, just as their ancestors would have yielded up a whole new generation of Americans to slavery.

Posted by quincyboy | July 22, 2007 10:13 PM

It is amazing that Kerry had the stones to say something like that. Having lived all my life in MA, I can say its not a huge secret that Kerry himself has long had an eye for leggy, young brunettes. Its well known on Beacon Hill and has even been mentioned on Howie Carr's show and alluded to in his columns as well.

Posted by RThompson | July 22, 2007 11:08 PM

I went up the river, Mekong,
I knew at the time it was wrong,
'cause on the radio was Nixon,
Who said he was fixin'
To go where we didn't belong.

Posted by RThompson | July 22, 2007 11:23 PM

Under the swift boat canopy
A young lieutenant sat
amusing himself
by abusing himself
and catching it in his hat

His magic hat!!

Posted by viking01 | July 22, 2007 11:30 PM

A sham Purple Heart or three,
meant a short tour of duty there would be.
I pinned on fake brass
to cover my @ss,
and to keep real grunts from fragging me.

Posted by palerail | July 23, 2007 1:23 AM

There once was a young man from Mass.,
In search of a great piece of ass,
he lucked out and found some
but fucked up and drowned one
now his chance for prez are past.

Posted by scott | July 23, 2007 6:43 AM

Couldn't think of a rhyme for "Kopechne"

Posted by AnonymousDrivel | July 23, 2007 7:32 AM

John's speech we thought would be dry,
A joke he did try by the bye,
No bursts into laughter,
Crowds repeating thereafter,
"I wish I had never passed by."

Keeping it clean out of respect for the host, but I imagine we could come up with some brutally offensive stuff here. I guess we'll save those for the bar.

Posted by DW | July 23, 2007 10:28 AM

It may have been a classless act, but I'm more disturbed by the behavior of Sen. Vitter. If Republicans want to be perceived as the better choice on the ballot for conservative and moderate voters, maybe they should consider behaving more maturely - both in public and in private. It becomes tougher to consider them the "family values" party when they're periodically caught doing things that contradict their message. I've never seen a party forfeit so much potential, both on the legislative and executive levels, to the bunch of irrelevant crybabies sitting across the aisle.

That said, I really liked Byron's ditty. Maybe he should place "Lord" before his moniker.

Posted by Glendower | July 23, 2007 10:32 AM

As someone pointed out (on late-night TV, I think), let's give Vitter credit for going to a pro, instead of messing around with Congressional pages or White House interns.

Posted by ERNurse | July 23, 2007 10:45 AM

There once was a rywall named Dave,
Who thought much of each comment he gave,
But the man has no class
And his head's up his ass
So we simply ignore each new rave.

Posted by CincyJeff | July 23, 2007 11:09 AM

I’ve got this colleague named Ted
His face is always red
He once had his mistress in bed
Then he drove off a bridge and she was dead

Posted by dave rywall | July 23, 2007 12:47 PM

40 years later some CQ-ers fume
Ted’s exploits they continue to exhume
Clearly they don’t truly give a sh**
Because they’ve done f**k all about it
Is it spring? Coz the idiots are in bloom.

Speaking of heads that are up asses
Some CQ-ers are slow as molasses
Sp*nking to a Bush 8x10
They type the same things again and again
Apparently this, for intelligent discussion passes.

Posted by John425 | July 23, 2007 1:21 PM

Kerry, the Senator from Louisburg Square,
sat in the Senate, a body once faire,
heard a call out for swimmers who'd dare
dive Chappaquidick and see what was there.

Posted by viking01 | July 23, 2007 1:28 PM

There once was a pol named Reid,
made a strong case that Liberals shouldn't breed.
The speeches he gave,
to a sucker named Dave,
reduced him to rant and rave.

Posted by Sam | July 23, 2007 1:54 PM

I object to sullying the dead Ms. Kopechne by referring to her as Kennedy's "paramour."

No illicit relationship was ever demonstrated.

By which I certainly mean no respect to the apalling drunken whale who took her life, only respect to the memory of Ms. Kopechne.

Posted by cold pizza | July 23, 2007 2:24 PM

Some think it's a great big to-do,
I think of a quote we once knew
There's no difference, it goes
Between pols and "ho's"
Both take all your money and screw you

Now Kerry was playing the crowd
Where any foul blow is allowed
If you like a guy
That money can buy
The people of Mass must be proud

The Senator sounding so shrill
He's looking for big shoes to fill
The circus in town
Is short of a clown
And Kerry would sure fit the bill

I could keep this up all day. -cp

Posted by Nate | July 23, 2007 3:26 PM

I think Kerry's just pissed because she turned him down. He was for it before she was against it.

Posted by Tony | July 23, 2007 8:22 PM

So Vitter was caught with a "honey".
Which Kerry though laughingly funny
But so he did marry
A Heinz who turned Kerry
He's a "honey" who doesn't get money.

Posted by Bob Moore | July 24, 2007 9:34 AM

A pontifical pol once observed
He knew of a job he deserved
The hook had been baited
The White House awaited
Cause unlike the others, he’d SERVED.

Posted by FedUp | July 25, 2007 10:44 AM

I couldn't make a limmerick if the fate of the free world hinged on it, but I sure can be an appreciative audience for those of you who can! It's a bright spot in a dreary subject in which really, folks, no one is right and most don't even care! Kerry's a jerk and I have his wife's permission to say so!