All right, I know a great satire site when I read it. Scott Ott must have contracted with the Hillary Clinton campaign for this argument, right? Only a true satirist or a complete idiot would go after a campaign opponent for his academic record -- in kindergarten! Claiming that Barack Obama didn't tell the truth when he said that his presidential run wasn't the result of some long-held plan, Hillary dug up the evidence after checking the Crayola signatures (via Best of the Web):
In third grade, Senator Obama wrote an essay titled 'I Want To Be a President.' His third grade teacher: Fermina Katarina Sinaga "asked her class to write an essay titled 'My dream: What I want to be in the future.' Senator Obama wrote 'I want to be a President,' she said." [The Los Angeles Times, 3/15/07]
In kindergarten, Senator Obama wrote an essay titled 'I Want to Become President.' "Iis Darmawan, 63, Senator Obama's kindergarten teacher, remembers him as an exceptionally tall and curly haired child who quickly picked up the local language and had sharp math skills. He wrote an essay titled, 'I Want To Become President,' the teacher said." [AP, 1/25/07 ]
I can see where Hillary might be offended by someone with overactive ambition. Imagine what it would be like to have someone stick with a philandering husband/politician, accuse political opponents of vast partisan conspiracies, carpetbag into another state to win a walkover Senate election, all just to maintain one's political viability for a Presidential run! My goodness, we wouldn't want that kind of overwhelming, avaricious desire for power succeeding in grabbing the White House, would we?
By the way, in case you were wondering, here's my kindergarten essay on my political ambitions:
When I grow up, I want to spend eighteen years as a mid-level manager for alarm company call centers. After that, I want to write about politics on DarpaNet. I hear all the hot chicks dig balding, middle-aged political pundits.
It's scary how those sandbox aspirations tend to come true, isn't it? Of course, the week after that I wanted to be a cowboy. Yee and haw.
UPDATE: I was going to let this go, but The Anchoress sent me a link to an update, and I had to include John Edwards' response:
Elsewhere in Iowa, Edwards mocked the Clinton campaign for sniping at Obama about his presidential ambitions.
"It's like, boy, you can tell you're getting close to the caucuses," said Edwards in Waterloo.
"I want to confess to all of you right now," Edwards said. "In third grade I wanted to be two things: I wanted to be a cowboy and I wanted to be Superman."
Tomorrow, the Clinton campaign will begin looking for receipts that prove Edwards bought a cape. Seriously, though, I passed my Superman stage early. I was four when I used my stocking feet to glide on the kitchen floor like Superman "flew" -- and stuck, fell, and broke off my front tooth at the gumline. After that, I stuck to dreams of middle management and political punditry.