« What If They Held a Primary and No One Came? | Main | Watchers Council Selections »
After long consultations between the Captain and the Commissar, with liberal quantities of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and Stolichnaya to assist in deliberations, we're ready to announce the results of the CQ Caption Contest for this classic John Kerry pin-up (suitable for framing):
We both were impressed by the number and quality of the entries, and we thank you all. But we had to narrow it down, and so ...
To start, we'll let the Commissar cover the Caption category:
"The Party has determined that the following winning contest entrant has
been awarded Hero of Soviet Union. Three other entrants have earned Hero
of Socialist Labor - 2nd Class. All other entrants will be shot. Losing
entrants may appeal the Politburo decision after their execution."
Hmmm ... let me know if you want the appeal form, 'k?
Hero of Soviet Union: Pile On.
"Put that lighter back in your pocket you stupid redneck, I DON'T EFFIN KNOW FREEBIRD!"
Hero of Socialist Labor, 2nd Class: Mary
"Hang down your head, John Kerry,..."
Hero of Socialist Labor, 2nd Class: Brian
"You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in, and you shake it all about.
You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in, and you shake it all about."
Hero of Socialist Labor, 2nd Class: Greyhawk
"Well it's 1, 2, 3, what are we fightin' for?
Don't ask me I don't give a damn...
Next stop is V-8-Nam..."
For the Lyrics Award, I decided to focus on original lyrics, although the Commissar considered all entries for the Caption Award. (Several of you have obviously seen Animal House, and that song cracked me up -- thanks for the flashback.) I won't reprint all of the lyrics here or this would get way too long, but they're in the comments on the original post.
Captain's Favorite: Trainwreck, "Kerryville"
There's one more award I have to give, as one entry required it:
Report to Sick Bay (On the Double): Jon Henke, "Kerry On My Wayward Run"
"Kerry on my Wayward Run. There'll be peace when I am done. Lay this weary war to rest We won't fight no more. No!
Take it, Cleland! Drum solo!
....What? Oh. Uh, sorry about that, big guy.
Thanks again for joining in the fun! The comments will be open on this post for your appeals (if you dare), disagreements, new contributions for general fun, and so on.
UPDATE: You should check out this entry at Aaron's Rantblog, who I just added to the blogroll. Those Sponge Monkeys get around, man ...Sphere It View blog reactions
TrackBack URL for this entry is
My Other Blog!
Comment Moderation Policy - Please Read!
Skin The Site
Des Moines Register
International Herald Tribune
The Weekly Standard
The New Republic
AP News (Yahoo! Headlines)
Guardian Unlimited (UK)
New York Times
Los Angeles Times
- dave on Another National Health Care System Horror Story
- brooklyn on Hillary Not Hsu Happy
- rbj on Hillary Not Hsu Happy
- Robin S on Requiem For A Betrayed Hero
- Ken on Hillary Not Hsu Happy
- Robin S. on Requiem For A Betrayed Hero
- RBMN on Hillary Not Hsu Happy
- NoDonkey on Another National Health Care System Horror Story
- Robin Munn on Fred Thompson Interview Transcript
- filistro on When Exactly Did Art Die?
Proud Ex-Pat Member of the Bear Flag League!